Clearing up room to think is a difficult prospect. If my brain is already at capacity then there is little space left to dedicate to self improvement. This is the most challenging aspect of really making a solid turn to being more like who I would like to be.
It is seen far to often, that we spend our entire lives working at a job we may or may not like, developing a routine we come to identify ourselves with. Giving up ideas, dreams, ambitions and what have you to "put bread on the table" and in the process sometimes loose a bit of our own identity. Then when retirement age is reached or physical impairment forces us to give up the routine, sometimes, there is little of "ourselves" left to enjoy. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to find something to live for when we reach this point in our lives and some do parish. The most restrictive form of bondage we can subject ourselves to is in the mind. Whatever our outward circumstance the mind can make it seem like misery even if it is something that could be seen, outwardly as enjoyable. Freedom is a harsh concept if you are unprepared for it. When the routine fades and you are left with time on your hands, would you know what to do with it.
There are several ways people have tried to do this very thing from moving to Oregon and living in the woods to write a book or, business plan and sticking to it, to something as seemingly simple as paying attention to your breathing. I say seemingly because when I tried to do it I was only able to for short periods of time before other things would just kind of pop in. I think of it a little like that show that used to come on VH1, pop up video. The problems start when the pop ups don't go away like they did on the show.I kept forgetting to breathe and my breath would become shallow and restricted again, but with a little effort and practice I have enjoyed long periods of self directed thought instead of the usual whatever may come bit.
I had to find a way to get a little control over my thoughts so I could decide which ones I wanted to reinforce and which ones were keeping me in the same mode of thought as always. There were a lot of things the world around me had, in one way or another, encouraged me to believe as fact with, in some cases, very little in the way of evidence. When we go through our childhood we are told a lot of stuff we accept because of the source, mainly because we don't yet have the capacity, or experience to make educated decisions on our own, and unfortunately we sometimes never take the time to reexamine the things we were told "that's just how it is" about.
Well I want to question everything, I have come to believe there are always options if you are willing to look. Some things are pretty far removed from where we sit in our air conditioned, 90 mile an hour, would rather talk via e-mail than hear a voice, or worse, see someone face to face, lifestyles.
I guess I have gone a pretty long way to preface this blog but that is what I wish to explore and publish here for any that may still be reading. Options that may be able to give us back a little of our freedom and humanity. Preparing how I think is the only way I can hope to think in a more objective, less restricted kind of way to help myself, and others, see obstacles as opportunities, and a hope for something a little more livable.
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